For ME

I hope you all know that this blog is mostly for myself. I used to write in a journal with an actual pen. So sometimes on here I'll get emotional and vent about something. Like the last post. It is therapeutic for me. It's like I can convince myself more of things when I put it down in writing.

Last week I decided to try the Slim*Fast shakes. I have been really busy and find the task of planning 3 Healthy meals and snacks tiring and overwhelming. I just didn't want to think about it anymore! I'm usually running out the door in the mornings, eating in my car, going from school to work to school again... Mondays and Wednesdays have been the hardest. This has been my schedule lately. 9-11:30 I am tutoring two students in Reading. 12-4 I am working. 4:35-7:05 I am in class. So there's no time to get anything to eat, I have to have it all ready, or I'll result to fast food or not eating at all. Which both make me feel like crap.

I actually enjoy the taste of the shakes. And the meal bars. The shakes I like better. It's so fast and convenient when I am running out the door. They have about 200 calories, protein and fiber so it keeps me full for a couple of hours until I can eat some fruit or nuts as a snack. I put one in the freezer for a bit and it was delightful! Just a little bit icey. The only kind I have tried is the Chocolate Royal.

I usually don't like "fake" stuff, at least I try to avoid it. But it's not every meal, and I don't eat the snack bars, just have some fruit, nuts, FF popcorn,etc. so I don't feel so bad. It's actually making me more regular. (I know you all care about that) haha. But it makes me feel good.

Okay folks I am at 154 lbs. today.

Here's the deal. I can't afford WW meetings anymore. So I didn't go last week and gained a little back. I am really stressed with money. I only got 15 hours in 2 weeks when they cut back hours and that just doesn't pay the rent. So I gained. But I am down to 154. I feel like I have been here so many times. If I can just beat that 154 this week I will feel great.

I am moving in with my sister Jen end of August when my lease is up so I hope that will help with my stress. I am excited to live with her! I lived with Marissa, now it's Jen's turn. :) My family takes such good care of me.

My celebration today is that I REALLY wanted pancakes and sausage last night at midnight and DIDN'T make them! Thanks Brandon for the encouragement.

Here's to a great busy week!

Wednesday... well Thursday morning now...*groan*

So I'm still awake even though I was exhausted when I got home at 9:30 tonight. I helped Brandon with a flat tire this morning, rushed to tutoring at 9:30 til 11:30, rushed to work to be there at 12, worked til 4 and then rushed to the U to be there for my 4:35-7:35 class.

And I haven't been eating good. So I'm tired and grumpy and really mad at myself for staying up late and eating bad this week. Plus I haven't felt good this week. I didn't plan at all. Ugh. I NEED TO PLAN. Seriously just do it Amber. Stop being lazy.

So I'm nervous I gained this week. I don't weigh for a few days when I think I've been bad because I don't want to know. So I am not sure of the damage yet.

Tomorrow I am going to plan. And I am going to run. It doesn't matter what happened today. I still have control over tomorrow.

I still have control over tomorrow. And I have control over going to bed now so I can get good sleep. Good night.

I made it through a Wedding...

...and still lost .8 lbs!!
Down to 155. 2. Of course I wish I was at goal right now but at the same time I'm okay with it. I haven't been stressed about it because I set a reasonable goal, a pound a week. I'm feeling really good!

My goal this week is to get on track with my running training plan and write down what I eat.

Friday Review - Yogurt Creamies

Hey y'all! If you haven't tried Yogurt Creamies you should!
There are 3 flavors Chocolate, Raspberry and Peach.
Only 105 calories each and 1.2 grams of fat. That's 2 Weight Watchers points.
They are really yummy! I have only tried the raspberry and chocolate.
A Perfect summer treat to satisfy your sweet tooth.
Convenient.
Fast.
Delicious.
On sale at a Fresh Market and Smith's.
Sold by each flavor separately but can get a big multipack at Costco with all 3 flavors.
What more can I say? I love 'em.

Self Control

Okay folks, I know some of you were interested in running the 5k with me so get on it!! :) See the previous post for instructions. Signing up is good motivation to start training.

Last night I saw my boyfriend Brandon's show he's doing. Afterwards we hung out with some friends and there were donuts and brownies and ice cream. I had already had a spoonful or two of funfetti canned icing earlier, since I was feeling down (stupid I know, it wasn't even that good) so I didn't even have one bite of treats. I couldn't believe it! This morning I weighed in at 155 something so I have lost a bit since Friday's weigh in. That's after a rehearsal dinner and wedding! I am really proud of myself.

I threw away the stupid frosting when I got home. I wasn't going to use it for anything and it was just tempting anyways.

Hope everyone's week is going well.

5 k Run in September- Wanna Join My Team?

To join my team for the American Heart Association 5k Walk/Run on September 18th click HERE. There are still 13 weeks before the race, plenty of time to train!

Check out these sites for running plans!
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
http://www.c25k.com/ There's a lot of different running tools at the bottom of the page.
http://www.fromcouchto5k.com/articles/training/the-couch-to-5k-training-plan/ This one seems a little easier to me than the first. Maybe I'll start with this one. Nice mix of walking and jogging and then leading up to just jogging.
Also you can map your runs and find out how far you are going - if you want to run outside, which I love doing now that it's nice weather! Go to http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/
And if you're like me and couldn't figure out how to do it see this: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=404

Let me know if you've found any other great sites!

Loving it

I couldn't go to Weight Watchers on Sat. like normal since I was in a wedding so I went on Friday. I was really proud I went on Friday. I lost 3.2 pounds!!

The wedding was exhausting. So I don't have much else to say. :)

Moving Forward

I told my friend Mandee that I like running because I'm moving forward. I put one foot in front of the other ever so slowly ;) and I MOVE FORWARD. It's hard, but I do it. That's why I love running!

I know I've been talking about losing weight for a long time. And "trying" to lose weight. How hard I've been trying is debatable. I know that what really keeps me on track is going to Weight Watchers meetings and tracking what I eat. I haven't been to a meeting since the end of Jan. Hmmm.... right around the time I lost my job and life kinda fell apart.

So on Sat. I went. I went and weighed in. I talked to my meeting leader and cried a little. I'm 13 pounds over goal weight and feeling it. I had to pay for the meeting since I'm over lifetime goal. And I don't really have the money to do it. Really. Lowe's gave me 10 hours this week and 15 next week. NOT good. BUT I have to do this. And once I get to 148 I won't have to pay anymore! Goal weight is 146 but I can be 2 lbs over.

I weighed in at 159.2. I had eaten Panda Express the night before so most of that must have been bloating since I weighed in this morning at 155-something. I will be happy if I can stay at 155 throughout the weekend. I have a bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, and wedding this weekend!

I wanted to share my new favorite snack. String Cheese and Turkey Pepperoni! Turkey pepperoni tastes better to me and you can eat 17 for 70 calories.

What's your favorite snacks? This week hasn't been so hard because I haven't been working but when I do work and take breaks in the break room, the vending machine glares at me. Ding Dongs, chocolate donuts, more ding dongs, Twix, M&Ms, chips, soda.... you get the point. I've never been tempted by vending machines but when it's there all the time it's hard. I never drink soda but when everyone else is drinking soda and I'm tired, it's tempting. Maybe I should try some Crystal Light so I have something sweet to drink.

For those of you wanting to join my team I am gettting the info for you! I have to finish this author project for my literature class, before work at 5 so I better go!

Not such a good week

I've had better weeks than this last one. I was feeling really great and hopeful and great and then BAM! BAM! BAM! I got depressed and tired and hopeless and yeah.... Dealing with emotional issues is hard and definitely hinders my weight loss. I hate how the two are so intricately intwined together.

So I weighed this morning in at 156. Not quite as far along as I wanted to be at this point but still down .8. I gotta pick it up, by Monday I would really like to be 155.

School has been stressful. Yes I said SCHOOL- in the SUMMER. I've never gone to summer school and now I know why. It's really hard to be motivated and I'm just burned OUT! My schedule at work has been not too kind. They have been giving me Mondays and Wednesdays off because I have school and am only available 4 hours in the middle of the day. So it's most convenient for them.

BUT it's really not a day off at all when you're going to school for 6 hours. So what happens is I never get a day off from school and work! There's always something to do. It's one reason I really miss having my Sundays.

Hopefully that will be changing soon. I told them I couldn't work for them if they didn't give me every other Sunday like they promised. They said they would but the new schedule hasn't come out so we'll see if they follow through. I have this sinking feeling they won't, but either way it will work out. In the little spare time I have I've been looking for jobs and I know if this doesn't work out the Lord will bless me with something else.

So yeah. Feeling a little overwhelmed. To the point where it's hard to do anything at all but give up. But I'm still here and I'm getting on.

Love you all my awesome readers! Hope your week is going great!

Running Take 3

So today will be my 3rd time running! I really am loving it, although I'm not so great at it right now. I probably have said this before but running makes me feel good because I push myself. Put me on an elliptical or bike, I could go for an hour or two and just feel tired. But with running I am always pushing myself to go just a little farther, a little longer. I push myself passed what I think I can do and feel so good when I do it! "Just get to that tree......that wasn't too bad... Just push to the lightpost...." I thought I would pass out before I got to the tree but I didn't and I went on to the lightpost! It just makes me feel so good to dig deep to make it happen.

I am a slow runner, but that's okay. At least I'm doing it. The first time I went I just ran/walk however much I thought I could do. The second time I bought a $9 sport watch at K-Mart so I could time myself. 5 minutes of running alternate with 3 minutes of walking. I did that 5 times, so I ran a total of 25 minutes split up. Pretty good I think.

So here's the update. Last Monday I weighed in at 156.8. My goal by my birthday which is Sep. 18th and the day of my 5k is 140. 16.8 pounds to lose. That's 1.12 pounds a week. Completely doable in my book.

Although I wish I could be 140 today or tomorrow, or even in a month, I think it would make me more stressed. I am trying to be realistic and do what I can handle.

I'm ready to do this. Let's go!